NEASC has returned with its decision several months early because it’s “so clear what has to be done, there’s no point in waiting.”

Hollis Brookline High School will keep its accreditation, but all high school students must repeat the two years of middle school.

Students will no longer be able to carry their backpacks in the hallways, must participate in R.O.C.K. once more, and are required to be very hormonal and awkward.

Gabrielle Bavis ‘19 started crying: “I thought that I had escaped. This is horrible. I need to go to guidance.”

She ran away and was unavailable for further comment.

“NO,” shouted Wendy Courtemanche ‘15, who promptly punched a hole in the wall that divides 141A and 141B. The wall was constructed to appease NEASC.