Trends that should be left in 2015
February 5, 2016
All right HB, it’s time to whip you guys back into shape…starting with just that: no more whipping (or nae-naeing for that matter.) A lot of unfortunate new trends appeared in 2015, and it’s easy to agree that several of such fads should remain a fond memory.
First of all, I’d like to thank the smartphone app Vine for ruining my life. This is where many trends were born. Nothing gets around faster than through the power of social media. I have found that life has become a soundtrack of unexpected screams of, “JOHHHHHN CENA!” as someone jumps off a desk onto their fellow classmate. Thankfully, I’m just kidding. I’ve never seen that, and hopefully I never will (Please don’t take this as a challenge!).
Instead of dwelling on the past, let’s mention the saying “New year, new me.” Now, we all remember the mistakes that were made in 2015, especially those made by the poor kids who thought it would be a good idea to suction cup their lips in order to look like Kylie Jenner. Mikey Lemay ‘17 tried this in the beginning of 2015 with her lacrosse team.
“I got some irritation around my lips that lasted for a few days,” Lemay said. “In the words of Beyoncé, ‘Pretty Hurts.’”
Something else that put an unfortunate dent in the social world: the dress. You know what I’m talking about. Was it black and blue? Gold and white? Natalie Paquin ‘17 and former student Kita Vachon ‘15 both say they saw white and gold, while Livi Simmerman ‘17 and Nichole Bourque ‘17 saw black and blue. According to the website Wired, this has to do with the way the light hits the cones in your eyes. You want to know what the “cones” in your eyes are? Too bad, Google it. Too much science for one article.
Everyone, put down that burger and please go back to Chipotle! Sure, there was E. Coli in their chicken, but I promise, it’s worth a little sickness! They miss you, not your business. They are loyal to their customers because they love you, and love saying “Guac is extra. Is that okay?” Oh, what was that? There’s norovirus too? Nah, let’s leave that in 2015 and forget about it!
And the winner is… Miss Colombia! Wait, what? Steve Harvey’s misread on Miss Universe 2015 was pretty embarrassing. But hey, it happens. There’s no staying mad at Steve Harvey; he’s adorable. A big congratulations to Miss Phillipines for actually winning. Instead of reliving Harvey’s mistake, let’s talk about how funny he is on Family Feud.
That’s enough of 2015. It had its ups and downs, but let’s hope for a more productive 2016. There will be recurring trends that we will grow to hate and some that we will love. There’s going to be a lot of pictures of Donald Trump with a floating toupee shouting “Vote for me!” Insidious 3 won’t play instead of Inside Out at that movie theatre in Ohio–Lord knows they won’t make that mistake twice.
And most importantly, as Mr. Fox always says, “Keep it legal.”