Starting off school on the wrong foot


A student dedicated to failure definitely must avoid buying these school essentials, including writing utensils, a laptop, an agenda, and even a mandatory vocabulary book. Unpreparedness and procrastination are essential to the defiant student, and will soon become part of your daily routine. “I think I do my best work while procrastinating,” said Senthil, laughing.

Rowan Gingras, Staff Writer

It’s time for school to begin again, bringing with it all the highs and lows of meeting new teachers, buying school supplies, and the first homework assignments of the year. It’s fair to say that most students have a sense of optimism as they start each school year, confident that this year will be better than the last. This article is not for those people.

Are you so burned out by last year’s strenuous academics that you want to be a little rebellious? Do you want to purposefully subvert society’s expectations of students by refusing to get good grades? Do you just love Hollis Brookline High School and want to stay here a little longer? The best way to accomplish such lofty goals is to start school off on the wrong foot.

South University gives several methods to begin the school year correctly, so you can start by doing the opposite of whatever is advised. “Get back-to-school ready by preparing yourself to succeed this semester. Include study methods that worked for you in the past… Finding a quiet place to study will also help you to focus on your work,” said Laura Jerpi in her upbeat article. Those who are uninterested in succeeding, feel free to do otherwise: don’t study at all, and if you do, make sure it’s in the middle of the loudest local McDonald’s (I recommend the one on Northeastern Blvd.), and in the least efficient way possible.

Another excellent way to begin your school year terribly is to procrastinate on your summer homework. Heck, go ahead and procrastinate so badly that you never even finish. Prepare for some flak from your teachers, but don’t worry; procrastination isn’t all that uncommon. “Oh, [I] absolutely [procrastinate],” said Ram Senthil ‘20. “I really don’t know [why]. I procrastinate because I forget about it.” Well, you’re not forgetting- you’re just not doing it.

Overall, the best way to avoid doing well is probably to evade responsibility. Don’t bother to remember homework assignments, throw your agenda in the garbage (actually, don’t even bother buying one), and sass the teacher if you’re asked why you’ve abandoned the pursuit of success. Even be Ferris Bueller for a few days if you feel like it. There’s no better way to Fight The Man than to be absent for the protest!

Or, maybe don’t do that. “Think about your future,” said Lily Jackson ‘20, who was horrified by the prospect of any activities previously listed. Well, the college of your dreams probably won’t be accepting someone who tried their absolute best to fail, unless you explain your reasoning extremely well in your application essay. And surely employers don’t appreciate the template of a rebellious teen laid out in this article, but who needs them?

Even Senthil, admitted procrastinator supreme, advised against this described path through high school. “Don’t [rebel],” he said. “Stay organized. Have agenda programs on your phone.” If you’re still committed to the path of most resistance, then you have the tools to do so, but you also have the ability to succeed. Choose wisely.