Q&A with Mrs. Heaton



Mrs. Heaton shows off the newly purchased books in her domain, the library.

Maverick Loveless, Staff Writer

Many people know of Mrs. Heaton. She is the keeper of the beloved library, where people go to hang out and study. Heaton is known to be up for a good laugh, no matter how she is feeling. What you are about to read is Mrs. Heaton being her fun-loving self. When I asked her if I could interview her, she said that I could, as long as the questions were out of the range of normal, such as if she is married or not. 


If you could go anywhere, even to fictional places, where would you go and why?

I love to travel – who doesn’t? – so I’ve been to some pretty incredible places already.  

But lately I’ve been reading a lot about modern archeology and new finds in the Nordic countries, so I think I’d like to spend more time in Norway, Northern Scotland, and Finland. As for fictional places, I visit them every time I read. 


Who is your favorite person in the world, dead, alive, or fictional?

Fictional: Uncle Iroh from Avatar: The Last Airbender.  

Dead: My maternal grandparents. 

Alive: My kids. 


If you could be a member of any fictional species, what would you be? 

A Time Lord. 


If you could create an animal hybrid, what would it be?

Miniature giraffes would be very helpful in a garden- weeding and pruning naturally. Also CUTE! So awkward and leggy. But the idea of a vicious guinea pig with glider wings is also intriguing. Or is that a flying squirrel? 


If you were an AI, who would you want to be created by, and what would be your primary function?

I’m especially interested in the intersection of creativity and memoir – how we most creatively tell our own stories and how we interpret our memories to tell worthwhile stories. It will be extremely important to gather as many stories as possible so that future generations can learn from our mistakes, successes, and remember for us what we have forgotten. So I’d prefer a collaboration- Demis Hassasbis for his work with memory, his love of gamification and therefore creative but also strategic thinking, and whoever is working on the GPT3 super processor right now. I think this is the OpenAI team, but I’m not sure. I’m interested in human stories still sounding like they are being told by humans, not a robot telling a human story. Essentially, I’d love to be the voice of human stories for the future. Because we’re all just stories in the end. 


What was the weirdest fashion trend that you participated in?

Sweetie, I was born in the 70’s and grew up in the 80’s. My mom tried to keep me fashionable – – eesh. But I did shave my head in college, so maybe that? 


What is a song that, when no one is looking, you will dance your heart out to?

I have a playlist: It is mostly the 80’s and 90’s stuff that defined my generation, including movie soundtracks, some London punk and some of the predecessors to Club-punk. And Queen. There’s always Queen. 


If you went to space, where would you want to go?

Assuming it was safe to do so and not a one-way trip, I’d love to visit the other planets and exoplanets that are similar to Earth. According to scientists there are about 4000 of them. One earth-like planet for every five sun-like stars. That’s incredible and opens up so many possibilities. I’d love to write a book comparing them, a sort of guidebook or travel guide.

I’d also love to land on something and name it after myself- star, asteroid, whatever; Or name it after my cat, who is especially cute and deserves a star of her own. 


What is your dream car and why?

Some kind of EV land-to-air hybrid out of a James Bond film. Rocket launchers are a plus. I’ve also heard that BMW just put out a concept car at CES where you can change the color of the car from the entertainment dash inside. The car is wrapped in a special pixelated paper/film that can alter color to be any color, pattern or graphic design you want.  

Seriously speaking, though – I’d prefer a small, sporty electric vehicle that is quiet and has a moderate storage capacity. A convertible would be nice. Otherwise, I love my motorcycle. 


What is your favorite food that other people would go eww at?

Okay, bear with me here – I’m originally from southern MA: chopped linguica, onion and sweet peppers to a can of Boston Baked Beans. It’s like a chili… but not. I think my younger brother made it once when we were young and I liked it.


As you can see, Mrs. Heaton is a very unique individual, who loves to have fun and laugh. She is a person that you can always count on to help, no matter how big or small the problem is. 


If you would like to have a stimulating conversation, go see Mrs. Heaton in the Hollis Brookline High School library.