Traffic backed all the way to Canada


Odd Fred, Vegetable Dance Choreographer

Long have the students at Hollis Brookline High School struggled with combating the traffic as they arrive to school or leave the back lot at the end of the day.

“It can take as long as one hour for me to get from my parking spot to Main Street,” said Billy Pilgrim ‘15.

Last Wednesday, a handful of students who park in the way back of the back lot noted that the traffic backed all the way up to the edge of Canada.

“I could see the Border Patrol station in my rear-view mirror,” said Montana Wildhack ‘17, “I was afraid I wasn’t going to make it to first period in time.”

This problem isn’t a new occurrence. For years the gridlock has plagued students seeking to make it to school on time to avoid a tardy. Students try to escape HB at 2:24 p.m. and beat the busses also run into this complication.

As far as beating the busses, it is simple… You can’t. It’s impossible. Administrators stop out-going traffic approximately 20 seconds after the bell rings at 2:24 p.m. to allow the busses a 5-minute head start.

Then, once the busses have made their way out of the narrow, crowded, squished, squashed, gridlocked piece of asphalt that HB calls a drive-way, students can finally flee the premises at slow and steady rate as the incredibly backed up traffic extends as far as Canada and sometimes also to Mexico.

“Last time I tried to leave the school I ended up getting questioned by a Mexican Border Patrol Officer,” said Irene Scroggs-Abell ‘15.

Basically, the students at HB are doomed to be forever stuck with these driving conditions in infinitely backed-up traffic jams and will never get to first period on time.